Monday, June 16, 2014

a heavy burden

Alhamdulillah

disaat diuji
kadang mmg rasa sgt2 down
rasa mcm besar sgt masalah aku ni

tapi cube dan cube utk pikir kecik jeee
ini bukan masalah
ini biasa-biasa saja

orang lain lebih teruk
orang lain lagi macam2 diduga
tapi itulah
aku hanya hambaNya
insan lemah

terkadang moody
tak tentu hala
mencari cahaya dariNya
inshaaAllah

setiap doa hambaNya akan dimakbulkan
cume sekarang,lambat atau nanti sahaja
janji Allah itu pasti
kan?

:)

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

2nd IUI after raya

Assalamualaikum

so thats it
yesterday doc dah review cycle iya
review iui xjadi
doc duk kata sayang xjadi
sperm cantik
telur cantik

nak wat mcmane yeee doc
bukan rezeki sy kali ni

then iya cite pasal spotting
doc ckp tu kite kena assume as period
so yesterday dikire iya ari ke7
maka xleh proceed iui b4 puasa

ubat kena stat makan antara day1-5
huhu

pastu doc ask iya spotting tu time mkn duphaston lg ke
yes.
doc mcm heran
sbb cycle iya jadi pendek sgt
22 days

doc risau cycle pendek2 ni
takut sbnye iya xde telur ponnn
means dalam kosong
means xleh ngandung

doc kata cube 4x iui
if xde...
something wrong
huhu
xke down jadi yerrrr tu

iya hope sgt xde laa smpai xleh ngandung tu
huhu

doc ckp time ivf procedure baru boleh tahu
telur ok ke x

wat hati kering jelaaa doc ckp
xmo pkir bukan2 sgt
anggap je tu ilmu
inshaaAllah xjadi pada iya
nauzubillah min zalik

ok.kire rest saje laa skang
wait until raya
Allah bg baby lebih awal
mana tahu kan
Allah je tahu :)
 

Friday, June 6, 2014

suke BBT chart walaupun GAGAL...

Assalamualaikum

kwn2 tahu nape iya suke BBT??
well....sbb iya lebih mentally prepare when is my ovulation ,implantation and period phases...

seriously.its help!

first of all
nak let u know
i can conclude that my 1st IUI is GAGAL
but its ok
because like i said
im ready once i look at my BBT chart

come and take a look
kita study sama2 k
tingkatkan ilmu kita
hehehe


okayyyy...lets begin with the phase 1
very low temp during period phase
bile kita period....temp badan kita akan jatuh
so basically mcm iya dalam area 35 - 36.5 mcm tu rendah and in the area period lah(based on past TTC chart too)

then...in this cycle yg C tu clomid which doctor suh iya amik for 4days

the X is injection ubat pada perot which kali ni ubat pergoveris 150iu

then on CD11,kita boleh tgok temp jatuh gile2
ini disebabkan all the meds and pecah telur doc bagi
means IUI made on CD12 is justtttttt fine after telur pecah

then 2WW begins
phase 2 is coming
which usually akan increaseeeeeee jelah
masa mula wat BBT dlu mcm seronok
bg harapan palsu jelaa kire nyee phase ni
hahaha
yela kann.naik jeee
berdebar2 menanti is bila dah reach tinggi sangat

bila naik tinggi sgt bermula CD23...
this is a tri phase in BBT chart
kalo google cube tgk pasal implantation
this is whr the implantation begins
iya stat ada spotting and cramp perot also start dat nite
on CD24 lagi naik suhu badan iya
this day pon still ada cramp and spotting

on CD25 which semalam
suhu stat jatuh banyak
still cramp and spotting
i knw dat at this point...

this is a crucial phase
penentuan if im pregnant or not

then iya tahu this morning (CD26 = CD1)
suhu jatuh lagi
and tadi plak darah lagi
byk and color pon lain  
(nnt iya cite cmne nk bezakan implantation and period bleeding k....we can know the diff)

so i guess....thats it
end another cycle
Alhamdulillah
Allah bagi iya kekuatan
not a single drop of tear

but iya rasa amaze dgn kejadian Allah
amaze how just from BBT chart
iya tahu mcm2 sekarang
iya lebih tahu what really happen
hehe

so...
mmg iya galakkan kawan2 TTC wat BBT laaa senang cite

petang kang nk call LPPKN utk maklumkan peod

sbb kena review
maybe pas puasa kot depa suh wat IUI lagi kannn?
oh my.....dont like it but...
usaha perlu diteruskan
all out this year
inshaaAllah :)

Thursday, June 5, 2014

is it all about us???

Assalamualaikum


to be honest
really not in a good mood
masih belum sembuh 100%
husband batuk trok
sian dia

today iya sakit belakang
and ada spotting few days
a bit confuse between implantation bleeding or period
but let time decide that
xnak burden about that much
sbb badan xsedap
lebih focus nak sihat je niiii

anyway...
aritu kawan iya ni ada ngadu
A and B kawan iya
yang pengadu A
both of them same ofis
both of them ade anak kecik
anak A agak fragile
antibody xkuat
sejak lahir mmg sll sakit
sian.

anak B lak ada 2
both of them strong
but biasa laa demam ke ape kann

so nak jadikan cite
both of their kids dibawah pengasuh yg sama
bile one of the kid demam
for sure akan jangkit pada anak A
but if anak A demam
kadang xde anak B demam

pulak if anak A demam
dia xmcm budak lain
dia recover lambat sikit
mcm iya ckp td a bit fragile

so biase laa
ada terasa 
A xpuas ati B xcuti jaga anak
if anak A demam sbb jangkit xde minta maaf
A nak B paham situasi dia
so iya advice suh discuss elok2
ckp cara baik
talk face to face what they suppose to do if one of the kid demam

selang a few weeks
A ckp nampak mcm they paham each other
okay laaa


sampai laa baru semalam ni
A cakap B wat tak tahuuu je bile anak B demam
demam+batuk
jumpe doc kata tonsil je
even pastu naik ruam B wat tak tahu
igt punca dr tonsil

selang sikit guess what?
of course anak A kena plak
ada ruam gak.batuk.
jumpe doc ckp kena HFMD (hand, foot and mouth disease)
kes berat
A cuti for 10days
suami A naik angin
sampai bgado laki bini
marah2 sbb B punye hal wat dunno

so nowwwwwwwwww....
what say u?
u think people need to understand our situation?
i dont think so.
most of the time we tend to understand us.us.us.
we need people understand us.
it's all about us.

y not kite change the situation
benda ni gak iya ckp dia
dah B xpaham awk nak wat cmne
xkan nak gado
awk xleh wat org paham
dah dia mmg xkan paham n endah punye

so y not awk cube cari solution sendiri
try find other ways to solve it
u sdiri dah tahu anak u mcmane
y not upah personal org jaga anak dia
yes mmg akan lebih susah
but if itu paling terbaik kenapa tidak???
even the doctor pon suggest yg sama
the kid need full attention from her

nak benti keje mmg xmampu hal-hal lain byk lg nak cover
then she start to understand that something must be done

btw....A n B both my bestfriend yaaa

so a bit susah laa nk advice.huhu

so bagi iya sama laa gak kite TTC niiii
bg iya mmg payah nk bg org paham kite ni
contoh mcm smlm ade sorang ni anta wassap kat iya 
"happy mother's day"
main2 gamaknyee

iya mcm lantak engkau laaa
padahal dia tahu je kann iya xde anak

biar laa org
xyah laa kite nak gadoh2
kite cube saje.sabar byk2
mmg betul org xkan paham kiteee
betul betul
kite pun sama xleh nk paham org lain
org lain dugaan mcm2 gak
lagi trok kadang
tgk saje laaa anak2 di palestin syria tu
bersyukur lah kita
tundukkan ego kita
sabar

ok....
inshaaAllah kita semua boleh :)

Monday, June 2, 2014

10dpiui - sick!

Assalamualaikum

iya igt 2ww will be totally different
not like right now

iya igt iya akan alami symptoms for taking duphaston
i guess im wrong

husband iya sbnye susah nk demam
cause of carrier talasemia
but once dia demam mmg iya akan tjangkit

huuuu
iya baru baik sbnye aritu
then selang a few days dia demam,flu,cough
iya tjangkit sekali

so...iya xtahu ape iya rasa during 2ww
batuk agak trok
flu smpai tahi mata byk bile bgn tido
mmg trok laa this time

i just hope my body,rahim strong enough
it just start to feel less confident -_-"

tpaksa makan ubat batuk n flu (ikotkan xmo)
doctor bagi ubat herbs 
sbb iya bgtau pasal iui
dia ckp ubat limited

for fever iya pkai cool fever je
nk makan panadol
kawan kata boleh
tp mak n DH tak bagi

so bertahan iya
just hope for the best
Allah knows everything rite....

inshaaAllah.