Thursday, May 30, 2013

bila semangat hilang

iya baru kawen xsampai 2years pon dah selalu melalak frust itu ini. so iya suka bile blogwalking.
tengok ramai lagi kawan yang TTC lagi kuat dari iya.
lagi banyak dugaan dah mereka tempuh and they are so strong!!!

so iya suke bace sebab aura positif tu mcm berpindah kuasa.
hahaha.mcm naruto dah ade jetsu la ape sume :p

wpon iya tak kenal depa
tapi deep down....still iya juga hope Allah kabulkan doa mereka utk dapat anak one day
in shaa Allah :)

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

will they understand?

yes,indeed.
will ever "they" understand how i feel.
only Allah.

how many times i cry.i told them about my suffering...
they will never fully understand.
but i will never blame them.
its nobody fault.

not even my husband
not even my mom
not even my close fren (except one bff maybe which TTC like me)
but the truth is.....
i feel empty.
i feel lonely.
i wanna feel the nausea like they feel, i mean like the story have been told over n over how the pregnancy would be like.....

i wanna feel how exactly its feel when someone move inside you.
i wanna feel how is it feel when someone hungry inside you...which i guess most of pregnant women like when they ngidams come....

i dunno.i just want to feel it.
how is it like when u hold someone u can call ur own kid.
thats all.

Oh Allah, help me.help me console my heart.

Monday, May 27, 2013

decision making

hmmm.rasanya bukan rezeki kami lagi.
just call LPPKN untuk wat appointment untuk IUI
suppose esok kena g sane amik ubat dulu
tapi.....nurse mention bilik operation tgh cleaning for 2weeks
so kena tangguh IUI.kena wait next period plak....

and nurse cakap if next plak jatuh pada Ramadhan still xleh wat.huhuhuhu
nampak gaya kena wait pas raya aaa lak :(

tu satu hal...pastu ask pasal procedure semua akan dibuat oleh Doc ape sume...lelaki plak. haih -_-"

youandme memang dah decide semua nak Doc girl jerrrr.
so thats it.iya rasa kena cari solutions lain laaa jawabnyerrrr.

still thinking and frustating. May Allah help this heart and soul. :(

been waiting

wow....genap today we have been waiting for : 

1 year 1 month 1 week 1 day



i have been waiting for you all my life (leh lak timing baik lagu ni tgh play) ^_^

one day, in shaa Allah

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

angry me

its a very frustating day.
baru je sampai ofis.
masuk lif...some old guy which barely know me.
tegur once in a while suddenly say this to me:

"eh,tak bersalin lagi?" sambil gelak2.
helloooooooo.dah sah2 ko sll nampak aku.xkan xtahu aku pregnant ke tak.

memang bengang sangat.kenapa laa banyak sangat manusia yang tak tahu pkir cara sopan bcakap.dahlah ckp kuat...depan org ramai lak tu.

well....Allah knows everything.May Allah give me strength and patience.amin :( 

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

first doctor appointment LPPKN

on day 21 period which is on 29 Mac 2013 again iya pegi LPPKN amik ujian darah.

then nurse minta iya call LPPKN semula on next 1st day period untuk wat appointment dgn doktor.

so....on 14 Mei 2013 , youandme pegi again LPPKN for the 1st time nak jumpe doktor (byk abis cuti youandme tahun ni.huhu)

b4 this sume jumpe nurse jeee.all the test pon nurse wat kan....hsg je kat KPJ doktor ade ;)

dalam jam 11 pagi camtu baru dpt jumpe doktor.hehe.sbb youandme datang pagi tu lambat.siap thegeh2.

pastu masa jumpa doktor...kite punye results test sume dah ada ngan doktor:

1.test sperm husband
2.test darah husband
3.test darah iya (day 2)
4.hsg test iya
5.test darah iya (day 21)
6.jawapan soal jawab youandme

so...all the results dah ada ngan doktor.masa ni Ya Allah hanya diriMu tahu bertapa nervous ye laaa.huhu.

but the doctor is so nice,funny and understanding.
he try to xplain all the things to us.
mula2 dia xplain result husband dlu which all excellent.
the funny part is doktor kata you dermawan coz beyond result lg dia bagi.hahahahaha.lol!!!!

then my turn.and it turn out okay too... :) Alhamdulillah.
then doktor kata suppose xde prob but what the cause of problemo to conceive?thats the big question!!! all we can say is takdir Allah ^_^

so doctor suggest youandme wat IUI.
and in the mean time have to wait for another next 1st period.
then call LPPKN again to make 2nd appointment.

next tu akan wat scan rahim again.but this time nak tgk kesuburan telur iya .nak tgk waktu bile subur.besar mana telur.and if okay,IUI leh wat. 

youandme hoping its all okay. :) in shaa Allah

 

HSG KPJ Tawakkal

process HSG ni makan masa jugeeeee.
but b4 iya wat HSG...mcm iya mention on previous post....
iya kena wat ujian darah on one of the day btwn day 2-5 period.

so on 12 Mac 2013 iya pegi LPPKN for the test.
payment 4 the ujian includes ujian for day 21 is RM87.00

thennnnnnn......on 19 Mac 2013 youandme pegi KPJ for the HSG scan.oh well...pegi sane pagi2...register and duduk sat name kejap je dah kena panggil untuk masuk bilik scanning tu.

buttttttttttttttttttt....pas dah salin baju hospital tu...
nurse suh iya go 4 a pee dlu.then suh baring atas mcm meja bedah tu haaa....ingatkan pastu kejap jela doktor masuk and scan kite...

rupenye Allahuakhbar..lame bebenor.ada sejam kot iya baring atas meja scan tu.hahaha.dah laa sejuk amat.haih.nasib juge nurse selimutkan.kalo tidak mahu beku lerrrrr.

and Alhamdulillah pastu doktor masuk.and doktor pun girl.glad!!!
so masa doktor nak wat dia cite sket laaa,katanye nanti sakit sikit sebab dia nak masuk kat liquid dalam badan.

liquid tu akan masuk dalam rahim untuk tengok if saluran rahim ada tersumbat ke tak....

so masa dia wat tu...leh lak perot rasa memulas mcm nk berak.haih -_-" leh lak dia wat hal lak kan...hahahaha

pastu doktor tu ask sakit kan?sakit kan?
iya cakap laa xsakit cuma saya rasa memulas perot mcm nak berak.
doktor kata "aaa.tu laa sakitnya.memulas-mulas"
laaaaaa.rupenye sakit nye begitu.hehehe.what a fool! :p

hehehe.pas settle tu doktor bgtau result ok.rahim sihat n xde tersumbat. Alhamdulillah ;)

pastu nurse bagi pakai pad.katanye nnt keluar darah mcm peod jugak.dalam 2hari katanye...ikot kan aje... :D
 
payment? RM180.00 y'all.done hsg!!!
       

first ttc visit LPPKN

06 Februari 2013

the date iya 1st visit ke LPPKN, Jln Raja Laut KL
b4 that iya dah call dulu untuk wat appointment.
no LPPKN situ : 03-2693 7555

just mention nak wat check up 4 fertility :)
pastu nurse tu bagi date utk iya dtg which as stated above

b4 pegi tu ada pantang larang.iya tak igt sangat semua but kena standby rm200.hahahahaha.

then on that day kami pegi awal2 pagi.
mula2 dia minta husband wat sperm test.
then dia panggil iya untuk sesi soal jawab.
mcm2 laa depa ask.background kita,penyakit kita,kekerapan ***
and after that husband lak kena soal jawab.

pastu wait sat lagi...

nurse panggil utk review result.
alhamdulillah you no problemo!!! ;) lega you!

then...nurse minta iya lak wat scan rahim which they call hsg.
but since LPPKN xde leh wat hsg ni.
depa bg surat utk wat kat KPJ.

untuk wat hsg ni pon ade pantang larang juge:
1. hari 1st peod kena call KPJ utk appointment hsg
2. hari 2-5,g LPPKN utk ujian darah (salah 1 hari je)
3. hari peod ke21 g LPPKN utk test darah lg :(

so...iya wait laa sekian2 date utk wat sekian2 benda.haha!
pastu nurse minta husband wat ujian darah gak.sbb kami xsure group darah ape.haha.and they want to test ade HIV ke tak.
pas wait sat husband wat test darah...the 1st visit end there.payment? RM123.00 hokay.

glad iya can claim all the treatment.
because? iya keje gov and they bagi claim for couple yg xpenah ada anak or xpenah abortion...alhamdulillah.leh claim until disahkan pregnant gituuuu.another yeay 4 me!!!! ^____________^

Sunday, May 19, 2013

papsmear PUSRAWI

i remember that day.but not the date! haha :p

my older sis laa suh try wat papsmear.dari situ leh tahu if kita ade probs in rahim.cthnyer cancer.

yg iya igt time tu dh oneyear kawen.coz iya penah bgtau al nak start all the checkups after a year trying.konon! :p

so iya g pusrawi and jumpe with doctor (mom's fren) and she scan rahim tgk if ade possibility problems ape2.

dia ckp normal semua n suppose xde masalah utk pregnant. Alhamdulillah. :)

then....baru wat papsmear.sakit kah?
mcm geget semutapi jaaa. :))
then within 2wks depa sms if xde probs which me got it. if ade probs ngan results,depa akan call kite utk further checkup.

thats it about the 1st one.
oh about payment?its free cause mom's fren kan.hahahaha.yeay for me!!! :))

The People.The Stranger -_-

oh well....its reality!!!
xsemua benda itu indah.
kadang rasa marah.sedih.
but still its not their fault.
manusia bukan??? :)

if i were them...i will also ask the most popular questions among us all....hahahaha "dah pregnant?"
"bile nak ber3?" 

i guess people lack of sense of sensitivity laaa kot kan... haih! -_-"

and lagi laaa zaman teknologi
far more worst bila emotional tgk frens talk and talk and talk.........
or should i say as post and post and post and post and another post about what???

what else....their pregnancy.their ngidams.their baby afterwards.their cuteness. Alhamdulillah they r all happy!!!

and u know what? i want it too.
i want it sooo bad until at nite im crying on my husband shoulder...but ummm about a few mins only.hehehe.

mane leh cry lame2....cian laki!!! ;)

but to be farrrrrr more worstest ever.... bile the very very very stranger person which barely know u ask u like this???

"dah pregnant?"
"lom"
"haih...dah lame dh kawen xkan xpregnant lg"

aaaa....this situation blh mendatangkan amarah ni.hahahahampeh!

iya jawab je "tanyalah Allah"
sentap ko!

haha.adios! ;)

the family

my family is amazing. my makayah n sisters are very understanding. xde pon nak ask nape lom pregnant ke ape. they didnt mind. mak maybe a bit worried but she's fine. mak dulu pon after 2 yrs kawen baru dpt 1st child. so its normal laa kan?hehe ;)

his family? they are also amazing. my bro n sis in law sume ok. biras ponnnn. xde pon nak perli ke ape sbb x pregnant ke ape lg. 

and again...probably his mom yg a bit worried. oh well....mothers kan?hehe. she is very kind. always igtkan iya utk sll doa n bsedekah. In shaa Allah mak :)

so i guess there's no pressure in the family. Alhamdulillah. ^_^

Friday, May 17, 2013

i guess that's just the way the story goes


tajuk post pun dah sebijik lagu air supply.hehe :p
sebab time ni mmg tgh dengar pun...

"i guess that's just the way the story goes"

inilah kehidupan Allah telah tetapkan kepada kami and we are definitely redha dengan ketentuanNya.

everyday we try so hard.yes,indeed so hard untuk kuatkan semangat kami.

everyday juga kami titipkan dalam doa agar kami sentiasa redha dan tabah dengan ketentuanNya. :) dan ia benar2 berkesan. 

ingatkan Allah....mendekati diri kami dengan Allah mampu mbahagiakan hati kami.

and....i am definitely sooooo happy with you.you the one that always there to consult me bile frust tertonggeng sbb xpregnant.
hehehe.

always with izin Allah ;)


♥ youandme ♥

iya n husband nikah on 21 October 2011
so...since this post posted (haha) dah 1yr 7months dah youandme kawen.

since that...youandme belum ada anak.never had any abortion.
xpenah ada operation etc.

1st 6months youandme kawen,kami plan.konon2nya sbb nak g honeymoon jauh sket time tu.

but after the 6months time....trigin pulak ade anak.
on that time,xpenah amik ada apa2 medication.just natural planning takmo anak lg.

tuptup sampai laaaa ni lom ada rezeki kami. :(

then apa lg???

oh ya....iya merupakan asthma patient since 7yrs old while my man ada talesemia minor patient. keturunan laa both penyakit ni.

medication lelah mmg me amik hari2 and for him xde makan ubat ape2.

tu je kot about youandme

a child of our own

this is it!!!

my new blog....
my old blog dah lame dah delete.

what makes me wanna make this one is because of one thing...

 "a child in the making"...which is our hope and dream someday ;)

b4 kawen tak pernah terlintas akan jadi TTC.
but somehow Allah itu maha mengetahui.
Allah lah yang punya kuasa segala nya.

this blog just for personal view and utk reference akan datang on how hard is it for me and husband to get someone we call as "anak"

and probably can help others too...someday,maybe! ^_^

so this is it...the journey of "youandmeonlyhope"